Nikki Palumbo is a writer and performer based in New York. She's written for the Maude teams Archnemesis, Charles, and (212). She also co-wrote The Queerball Sketch Show!, which ran at UCB Hell's Kitchen for 9 months. Her writing has appeared on McSweeney's, Reductress, Above Average, Funny or Die, CollegeHumor, and Twitter.com (@nikkipalll). Nikki performs regularly with her shows Dyke Power(point) and Queer Tiger Beat. Of course she has a cat named Fonzie. She wrote this in third person, with the help of a fourth person.